God Wrecked Me... In A Good Way

I have a friend who used to tell me he prayed that God would "wreck me... in a good way". Well yesterday he and I spent the day together at Moody Bible Institute's Founders Week. We listened to Gary Haugen (Founder of International Justice Mission), and Francis Chan (Pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California). What a great day.

I am continuing to process our time yesterday, but I have processed things enough that I can say God wrecked me yesterday. Before I go on, I think I need to just briefly explain what I mean. God did nothing to harm me or cause me damage - but He ruined MY plans. He ruined the comfort I find in relying on myself and my plans. He wrecked this prideful feeling I had that God should really be happy with the ways I trust him.

There are several things that really hit me yesterday so I want to randomly share how God spoke yesterday.

Before Gary Haugen got up to speak there was a time of worship. We were singing several hymns. Honestly if I could have, I would have fast forwarded past all that. I wasn't here to sing - I was here to listen and be inspired by Mr. Haugen. I felt obligated to sing though so I turned on the auto pilot... I am sure you know what I mean. But then we started singing this familiar chorus, Here I Am To Worship. I started to sing:

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that you're my God...

I could barely sing those last words. When I reached the, "you're my God" part my voice just trailed off.

Has that ever happened to you? Do you really pay attention to the words that you are singing? Well as I thought about what I was experiencing, I really focused on those words, those lyrics. "Here I am to say that you're my God".

Is He really my God? You see I felt in many ways like Peter when Jesus asks him, "Peter, do you love me?". Of course. Of course He is my God. This isn't about whether or not I believe in God, or God being the creator and sustainer of life - it isn't about any of that. Its about God being the most important thing in my life period. Its about when you strip everything away, what (or who) am I really worshiping? Is it God 100%, or is it God 51%?

I haven't fully processed that yet, but God in His divine plan aparently thinks I need to focus on this because I was about to be hit with this same message several hours later.

Around 3:00pm, Francis Chan began to speak. He began with what I thought was part of the message only to have him share "that wasn't part of my message" - Even his tangents speak to me. He began talking about being in love with God. Here are some highlights:

The critical question for our generation—and for every generation—is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever say, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there? (Francis quoted this from John Piper's book, God is the Gospel).

Are we in love with God, or are we in love with the idea of God? Are we in love with the idea of heaven?

Francis talked about the amazing feeling when he gets home from work and is greeted by his children before he can even get out of his car. There is such love. And so he decides to buy his one daughter a cat (she so wanted a cat). She will even love me more, he thinks. But something happens - his daughter stops greeting me with hugs when he arrives home. He goes into the house looking for his daughter and finds that she is busy playing with the cat - he has been replaced.

Our heavenly father loves us. He gives us gifts because He loves us. But then something happens - we begin to love the gift more than the giver.

So now I wonder... are there things in my life, are there things in your life - maybe really good things - that you love more than you love God?